Dear Friends,
Congratulations on your decision to be joined in the Holy Sacrament of Marriage. Thank you for choosing our church for your wedding. We will do whatever we can to make your wedding a sacred, reverent and beautiful religious experience. You have chosen to be married in the Church because you want God to be a part of your wedding and married life. During the preparation and instruction, we will be mindful that God created marriage and we must fulfill God's will in regard to marriage for it to be holy.
Do not let the many pressures and social expectations of our secular culture distract you from the deeply religious significance of this Sacrament. We urge a certain moderation and simplicity in the celebration (decorations, number of attendants, etc.). Be very clear about your goals as you plan your celebration. This should be a day of gratitude, joy and prayer. The reception following the celebration should flow from the gratitude, joy and prayer of the church ceremony.
The guidelines contained in this pamphlet should answer most of your questions; however, we will be happy to help you resolve any issues not covered here. Our goal is the same as yours: to affirm you in your intentions to marry and to help you make your wedding day and married lives a reflection of God's presence alive in our faith community.
Yours in Christ,
The Pastoral Staff of Holy Family and St. Elizabeth Church
6-12 months ahead: Contact parish office and pastor to schedule your wedding date and start the process of marriage preparation and planning.
At least one of the party must be a registered, practicing (i.e., fulfilling weekly Sunday obligation) Catholic to be married in this parish community. All contacts should be made by the bride and/or groom with the priest (or Deacon) who will be celebrating your marriage, otherwise known as the presider. If the presider who will officiate at your wedding liturgy is not from our parish, you must furnish him with a copy of these guidelines, and have permission and delegation from the Pastor of Holy Family or St. Elizabeth Church.
Since Lent is a season of penitence and austerity, weddings will not be scheduled during Lent.
Documents needed:
- Proof of attendance and instructions given in a Pre-Cana Conference and/or an Engaged Encounter Weekend.
- Madison County Marriage License.
- Recent baptismal and confirmation records.
- If you are not a member of either Holy Family or St. Elizabeth Parish or if your records are elsewhere, please have them sent to the respective parish office.
- The baptismal record for a person who is not of the Catholic faith is desired when possible.
Requirements:
- Participate in the FOCCUS assessment, raising questions and identifying areas of concern for couples. The goal is effective communication.
- Catholics should receive the Sacrament of Confirmation before being admitted to Marriage.
- Couple must attend either a Pre-Cana program or a Weekend for Engaged*.
- The couple may, if they desire, offer a gift of money to the poor which can be brought to the altar with the gifts of bread and wine, symbolizing the sacrifice that is required in living out a marriage commitment.
- Prior to your wedding day, the celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation for Catholic Bride and/or Groom should be celebrated so that you are properly disposed for the Sacrament of Marriage.
* See the Engaged Couple's Guide from the Diocese of Springfield.
Weddings may be scheduled on Fridays at 6:00p.m. and Saturdays at 1:00pm Rehearsal times are to be scheduled with the presider. For the rehearsal, the bride and groom need to arrive 30 minutes earlier than the wedding party for initial instructions from the presider. The wedding liturgy DOES NOT fulfill the Sunday obligation of attending Mass.
The focus of the wedding Liturgy is on the bride and groom, for they administer the Sacrament of Matrimony to one another.
The bride and groom should take care to limit the number of attendants so as not to distract from the focus of the ceremony, namely the bride and groom.
Witnesses need not be Catholic, but Catholic witnesses should be active members of their faith.
The future spouse of another faith is welcome to invite her/his minister or Rabbi to attend and/or participate in the ceremony.
There are areas within the parish complex where the wedding party can dress and prepare for the wedding ceremony. Please consult with the pastor as to where these areas are.
The presider, along with the couple, will plan the ceremony in all its parts, with the exception of music.
A wedding coordinator is not allowed to plan or preside over any part of the wedding liturgy or rehearsal. However, it is encouraged that someone be assigned to assist in coordinating the entrance procession in a timely manner.
The use of an aisle runner is discouraged since it serves as a safety hazard and often is not rolled down the aisle properly.
Ministries needed for Liturgy without Mass:
- Lector (1 or 2)
- Petition Reader (1)
Additional ministries when a Nuptial Mass is celebrated:
- Gift Bearers (2 or 3)
- Eucharistic Ministers (2 or 3)
The sign of peace may be exchanged by the couple with their parents, parents in-law, and the Wedding Party.
If Mass is celebrated, only those of the Catholic faith in good standing can receive Eucharist.
Optional Rituals:
- Unity Candle
- Presentation of flowers to Mary (if the couple share a strong, prayerful devotion to Her)
- Presentation of a gift to parents
- Any ritual which is important to the couple and their particular culture
Receiving lines: It is only on rare occasions that a wedding celebration does not include a reception to follow. Receptions are intended for the receiving of guests: therefore, it is strongly encouraged that the bride and groom reserve this for the reception. Wedding guests are much more comfortable at the reception and do not have to wait in line. The church is a place of worship and not a reception hall, not to mention the time constraints of our parishes' schedules.
It is absolutely not permissible for the bride & groom to usher guests from the church.
Items such as rice, flower petals, bird seed or confetti are not to be thrown in the church or on church property. This creates a hazard for walking and necessitates cleaning the church or property.
Helium balloons are allowed. Large numbers of balloons can endanger the environment so they should be kept to a minimum.
The majority of wedding pictures should be taken at least one hour before the ceremony. Pictures taken after the liturgy is limited to no more than thirty (30) minutes after the ceremony.
Photographers and Videographers should contact the presider in advance of the wedding liturgy in order to resolve any questions.
Flowers may be placed in the sanctuary in containers to highlight the importance of the altar and ambo. No flowers may be positioned on top of the altar.
Church furnishings may be moved only after permission is approved by the presider.
Kneeling is a posture of penitence; therefore, standing or sitting during the ceremony may be more appropriate.
If the couple chooses to celebrate their marriage during a special liturgical season, i.e. Christmas or Easter, there will be seasonal decorations already in the church building. Under no circumstances may these decorations be removed, as these seasonal decorations are used in conjunction with the parish celebrations in that particular season of the church year.
Candelabras for the sanctuary or aisle are permitted provided they have draft-proof protectors.
No pew bows or anything else may be attached to the pews by the use of tape, staples, thumbtacks, etc.
Runner is permitted for our 50 feet aisle, provided it is removed after the wedding.
Music should include selections that are familiar to the assembly and reflect the Sunday liturgy.
Secular love songs are not to be sung within the wedding liturgy and are more appropriate for the reception.
Music such as "Here Comes the Bride" is also not permitted as its original use was to accompany an illegal or illicit ceremony, thus contradicting Christian values. There are many other classical marches and pieces which stem from sacred, liturgical origin. These may be used for accompanying the procession both in and out of church.
The Lord's Prayer is prayed or sung together as an assembly of faith and not be used as a solo piece.
It is encouraged that hymns and songs be chosen from our parish hymnals in order to enhance congregational participation.
Sacred liturgical music may originate from either contemporary or traditional style. Both forms are welcomed and acceptable, provided that it is sung prayer.
The following sections of the liturgy must be sung:
- Responsorial Psalm
- Gospel Acclamation (Alleluia)
- Holy, Holy, Holy (with Mass)
- Memorial Acclamation (with Mass)
- Doxology & Amen (with Mass)
- Lamb of God Litany (with Mass)
The following places are appropriate for solo pieces:
- Preludes
- Presentation of the Gifts
- Communion Meditation
- Lighting of the Unity Candle
Music ministers selected must be familiar with our organ, electric piano, and sound system.
Music must be approved by the Director of Music and Liturgy, regardless of who serves as Music Minister for your wedding.
For help with musical selections and bookings, call:
- Pat Michaeloff: 877-1768
- Mike Halbrook: 876-0758
You can also explore this page for help with musical selection and bookings.
- A general church donation of $200 must be paid directly to Holy Family or St. Elizabeth Church.
- For non-parishioners and for registered families who have not contributed on a regular basis, a fee of $400 is required.
- Payment is due in the Rectory office no later than three weeks prior to the wedding.
- You are responsible for payment to your music ministers (suggested: musicians - $50-75ea; singers - $50-75ea.)
- A monetary gift for the Priest and servers is Customary.
- If you choose to use our Parish Facilities for the rehearsal dinner or reception, please contact the Parish Secretary for scheduling information and rental/deposit fees.
- Absolutely no smoking in the church building at any time.
- Food/refreshments are prohibited in the gathering/worship space.
- The possession or use of alcohol or drugs, either in the building or on church property, is strictly prohibited.
- Members of the Wedding party and others involved in the liturgy are prohibited from drinking before the wedding.
- Clean-up of all the facilities is the responsibility of the family and/or wedding party or some other designated person.
If either future spouse, catholic or non-catholic, has been in a previous marriage(s), the wedding cannot be scheduled until a declaration of nullity has been attained by the Marriage Tribunal of the Catholic Church. Please meet with the Parish Staff or Presider to inquire about this process which may take over 10-12 months.
Introductory Rites
Preludes
Seating of Grandmothers and Mothers
Procession of Liturgical Ministers, Presider and Wedding Party
Procession of the Bride (and Groom)
Sign of the Cross
Welcome and Penitential Rite
Opening Prayer
Liturgy of the Word
First Reading
Responsorial Psalm
Second Reading (optional)
Gospel Acclamation
Gospel
Homily
Rite of Marriage
Statement of Intentions
Exchange of Consent
Blessing of Rings and Exchange of Rings
Lighting of Unity Candle (optional)
General Intercessions (petitions)
Liturgy of the Eucharist
+ Presentation of Gifts
+ Preparation of the Altar
+ Holy, Holy, Holy (sung)
+ Memorial Acclamation (sung)
+ Great Amen (sung)
The Lord's Prayer
Nuptial Blessing
Sign of Peace (Presentation of flowers to parents - optional)
Lamb of God (sung)
Communion Procession
Post Communion Prayer
Concluding Rites
Dedication to the Blessed Virgin Mary (optional)
Final Blessing
Presentation of the Couple
+ = indicates additional parts for weddings with a nuptial Mass
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